Journal: 05/19/06

I felt better today after writing yesterday’s blog. I think having put an identity to what’s going on in my life and my feelings about Joann’s death has given me a better place to come from in the future. I knew I hadn’t completely shut down, that emotions, memories and events were reconciling themselves behind the scenes; I just didn’t know how to put the words to the process until yesterday. I am reassured that while my brain sorts through this stuff, it is also using these past experiences to learn and formulate a new foundation to build upon. In the end, I will be stronger than before.

A Little Help from My Constant Readers

I have been posting this blog since March 8 and have received several comments from readers. I want to take this time to let all of you know that all of your comments have been wonderful for me to read and I thank you for all of your support. By your comments I am reminded that I am not alone, that there are others who are taking this journey with me, albeit vicariously.

I hoped that by creating this blog, not only would I be giving myself a place of sanctuary where I could journal my issues with terminal illness and personal loss, but also provide much-needed information to others who may be going through the same trials, or are preparing to. I don’t know how useful these pages are to others, but I hope this effort has been worthwhile; I know it has been—and will continue to be—indispensable for me.

Ultimately, both the processes of honoring a loved one’s wishes to die at home and the personal recovery afterward for the caregiver, are uniquely personal roads the caregiver follows. Not everyone will choose to do the things I did, though if you look in the newspaper obituaries, many have in some form or another. I can only hope that this blog prepares and comforts others as it has me.

Thank you, my Constant Readers; your feedback supports me on the road I travel.