Preliminaries-Read This First!

This blog is not for the faint-hearted. To be blunt, these writings are about real life, and death, in real-time. This is not a reality show or some fictionalized drama played out by a starving writer looking for a handout. This is about my life, my wife's life, the way we are dealing with her terminal illness and the approaching end of her days.

I know the obvious question that may pop into your head, so let me answer it now before it is asked. After much discussion between my wife and I, we decided to launch this blog for a number of reasons both individually personal and jointly as life partners:

• As a source of personal therapy (hers and mine);
• To communicate to others who are in the same situation, that maybe the ending of one life does not automatically mean the end of another as well;
• The wish to leave a bit of her remaining in the world, sort of a memorial, as a comfort to myself and others who survive her;
• As a testament, that her life wasn't in vain if one other person is comforted by these writings

My wife, Joann, does not feel exploited by this blog, though if she does at any point, I will stop posting her side of the issue to it while making note of this change to all readers. As I pointed out earlier, this is a therapeutic endeavor, not a financial enterprise.

At this point, I have to tell any potential follower of this blog that if you have any problems with the issues under discussion here, then please go somewhere else. Otherwise, welcome dear reader! Joann and I will do our best to be as informative as possible.

About Donations

Yes, I am going to ask for donations. I have spelled out the reasons on the page that appears when you click on the PayPal® button at the end of every post. For the sake of introduction to this blog, I have posted the reasons as follows:

Joann is now under the care of the Visiting Nurses Association (VNA) Hospice arm. All of her previous insurance (Medicare, MediCal) have been directed toward VNA-Hospice, as it is now the sole responsibility of the VNA to provide both at-home hospice care and, eventually, a final few days at the end if necessary. This arrangement simplifies things greatly as we no longer have to be in contact with five doctors, a pharmacy, the hospital and two agencies.

The downside to this arrangement is that the VNA provides only items and medications related to the hospice process. Other items and expenses we cover out of our own pocket. Given our financial hand-to-mouth situation, we find ourselves struggling more than usual to afford the additional expenses.

That is what this donation is all about, providing the wherewithal to afford Joann the physical and spiritual additionals to help make her comfortable. I provide an outline of these expenses below.

• Because I work in trade for our rent (no cash changes hands), whenever I take time off to spend with Joann, I fall behind on the rent. Your donations could allow me more time with Joann without jeopardizing our home.
• As her condition deteriorates, Joann will need items such as special sheets for the bed, adult diapers, special foods and juices, and other things yet unknown. Your donation could relieve us of some of the financial impact of these goods.
• When the time comes, Joann will have to be taken care of according to her wishes. We have no insurance for funeral obligations and little cash-on-hand to complete the task. Your donation would ensure I could meet her wishes in a timely manner.
• I am sure there will be innumerable other expenses small and large in our future. At the moment I cannot predict what they will be or when they will crop up. Your donation will help with these unforeseen expenses.

When all is said and done, the passing-on complete, whatever of these donations are left over will be donated to the VNA-Hospice to provide services to others. In the meantime, I will keep careful records of all donations and the expenses they applied to, should anyone wish an accounting. I will regularly post on the blog the status of the donation fund.

The life and purpose of the "About Dying" blog does not, in itself, depend on your donations. This blog will continue regardless of donations, because the blog is about therapy, acceptance and recovery. These donations are to help Joann feel a little more comfortable and secure in her final days.

Thank you, in advance, for your donation.

About Structure

This is going to be a long endeavor. Starting down this road I foresee a need to make some broad distinctions as to types of entries that will be posted to this blog. Aside from this post (of which there will be this one only), there will be four post types:

• Prolog: This post type provides general biographical data, introductory information and anything else that may aid the follower of this blog to understand the participants and situations referred to in later posts.
• Backstory: These entries describe historical information deemed by myself as important to understanding some current information, situation, place or relationship.
• Update: Primarily to be used for updating Joann’s medical status.
• Journal: The meat of this blog. These are the thoughts, discussions, events and everything else comprising this journey.

If you, dear reader, have made it this far and not yet lost your nerve, then Welcome! Joann and I both hope that your participation in this experiment is as good for you as we hope it will be for us.

Read on!